#bb take over the world with me please #d.o #exo
Kyungsoo has managed to condition EXO into flinching every time he moves his hand in their general direction.
If that’s not power, I don’t know what is.
#IT'S SO CUTE #also if byun baekhyun was a dog he would be this dog #but also very obnoxious #too cute #animal!exo
this is absolutely illegal and i will not stand for this amount of law breaking
Look at this fluffy piece of shit. It is so fucking cute. I am using foul language to describe my agony
tall people = the enemy
can’t even see you hatin from all the way down there
I will tie your fucking shoelaces together and you won’t even know til its too late
By Catherine Nelson, I find myself mesmerised by these astounding, meticulous compositions from thousands of tiny details, congregated to form these individual little magical worlds. Each one a contained planet with it’s own individual environment and colour range.
#HE'S SO BOY HE'S JUST SO BOY #but like #not fedora/baggy cargo shorts/socks-and-sandals boy #more like #ATTRACTIVE BOY WHO DRESSES DECENTLY AS;DLGJASJDG #chen #exo
things to not show in school
- a pack of gum
female characters should be like the heads of the dreaded hydra. if you take one away, seven more must come back in her place.
#GET IT BAEKHYUN #why don't you just call everyone hyung #baekhyun #kai #exo #radiohost: we’re lucky to have you two here, you’re clicking!
#the avengers #captain america #marvel
Fury and Nat take turns at the grill, Nat doing the meats, Fury doing the corn and kabobs, and later that night, the ribs.
Can it please just be the 4th of July I want it to be Steve’s birthday and for there to be Tony choreographed fire works and he only gets tiny gag gifts from everyone because the BBQ is his gift—he gets to spend his birthday with people instead of just some anonymous asshole watching a publicly organized light show, or making appearances as The Captain in full uniform, shaking hands and kissing babies.
I am Steve centric and I’m not sorry
Steve mentioning his birthday to Sam coming up one day and once Sam gets over his laughing fit because of fucking course he asks what Steve is gonna do and Steve literally pauses and stares blankly because he has no obligations and he can do what he wants
Sam and Bucky are totally okay with a quiet get together in the backyard and tell Natasha because they know she’s his friend but honestly Sam and Bucky have no reason to really think about the Avengers as Steve’s friends. Nat has to remind them that hey idiots Steve has a lot of people who care about him now and maybe it’d be nice to have them over too.
But she tells Tony first.
Never tell Tony first. Tell Tony last and three minutes before your plans start because Tony Stark takes over if you don’t. Immediately, Tony is calling up Sam and asking about the dimensions of his backyard and “You don’t have a pool? You need a pool on the 4th of July!” and
demandinginviting them to throw it up on Stark Tower because they’d get an amazing view of the fireworks and it’d be a safer location to have a gathering.
Suddenly, there are invitations and plans and flights to book. Thor could fly in but he asks if he’s allowed guests and of course Tony says yes who can say no to Thor but Foster is broke and she has an intern who’s basically family from the way Thor talks about her so he gets all three of them on one of his planes because Thor’s hammer sure as hell isn’t going to go through regular customs.
Pepper is obviously going to be there. Bruce is practically living with Tony so it’s just a quick visit to the lab with an invite to be dramatically chucked at Banner’s head and a gentle demand he be there because if Tony’s gotta be forced to show (Pepper and Bruce share a fond look of this idiot) so’s his buddy for moral support obviously. Hill gets an invite because Pepper likes her.
Nat finds Nick Fury and manages to convince him to come. Tony’s not sure why Nat thinks anyone wants Fury at a party but, like most things having to do with him, Tony ignores it.
Clint is the last to know and it takes months of searching before Pepper asks if anyone stopped by his apartment to see if he’s home. Tony and Nat are honestly dumbfounded when Clint answers the door in sleep pants and a piece of pizza in hand. “Where have you been?” Tony asks. “Right here?” Clint responds, and has honestly been taking it easy for the last few months and Nat doesn’t reply to Tony’s endless stream of “you’re a spy and you didn’t think he might just be home??” on the way back after Clint signs the RSVP on the invite and hands it back before going to do whatever he’d been doing before.
Sam, Bucky and Steve arrive at the Tower the day before and JARVIS manages to help Steve out of the way of party planners and the rest of the Avengers, because the idea of a surprise party in some form is still to appealing to a bunch of people who don’t have a history of having normal social interactions.
Bucky and Steve go off on a little foot tour of their old haunts in the morning and Tony and Sam get down to business. The patio area is set up, supplies brought to the nearest fridge, cozy lounge chairs set up, plenty of towels for those who want to take a dip, and Pepper has managed to get a lovely “Happy Birthday Steve!” banner made. Clint is in charge of getting the birthday cake and Jane and Bruce do really well in the kitchen chopping and dividing burger materials while Fury and Nat seem to bicker over who’s side is who’s on the BBQ. Thor and Happy end up being the muscle who move everything around until Pepper and Tony are satisfied and Fosters Intern (Darcy) turns out to be a fantastic aid to the decorations and covers the patio in red white and blue in record time.
Steve and Bucky’s return to the tower is met with a full patio of smiles and a cheer of “Happy Birthday!” and there’s a slight moment of panic that maybe he just wanted something small but Steve’s smile is a sure sign that it isn’t and he breaks out into delighted laughter, hand snagging Bucky’s sleeve and dragging him into this mix of people Steve knows and doesn’t and chaos reigns for the rest of the evening.
Thor and Bucky have an arm wrestling competition, Clint is shoved into the pool by Bruce of all people, Steve and Bucky demand the songs they used to listen to back in the old days and Bucky shoves off he’s dancing feet and suddenly is twirling and hop stepping with all the ladies there and Sam at one point. Steve gets asked to dance by Darcy and though she laughs at his two left feet she gets Natasha to come show him how to move properly while Bucky dances circles around him almost lazily.
Bruce and Tony bring out the cake, and they’ve managed to fit the 96 candles on and the stupid grin it puts on Steve’s face is worth it but only a little more than watching a super solider attempt to blow out 96 candles. Cake slices in hand, everyone gathers into the chairs as the fireworks start and Steve takes a moment to look at his friends gathered around him and just bask in the moment.
Rhodey had obligations, couldn’t attend and never lived it down not once. What kind of an Iron Patriot blows off an invitation to Captain America’s Surprise Birthday Party?
Well, one who likes his job 8|
Fuck you, Tony, he’s perfectly capable of asking the guy out to coffee in the following weeks to make up for it, okay? he gives a shit he’s just an adult with responsibilities
Steve assures him no, really, he understands. He’s fine with coffee. He’s never had much if any alone time with Rhodey, but it sounds like they have a lot in common and he’d be lying if he wasn’t curious about the life-long friend Tony isn’t currently in a monogamous relationship with.
Coffee goes great, the two keep in touch. Tony demands details because friends don’t talk about friends behind friend’s backs. Rhodey makes sure to make it sound as boring and clinical as possible to run Tony off; it works.
DOES ANYONE ELSE GET LIKE REALLY HAPPY WHEN SOMEONE LEANS THEIR HEAD ON YOUR SHOULDER AND YOURE LIKE FUCK YEAH IVE BEEN CHOSEN AND YOU FEEL REALLY SPECIAL BUT THEN YOU HAVE TO STAY SO FUCKIBG STILL COS IF YOU MOVE THEYLL STOP LEANING ON YOU AND ITS LIKE NO COME BACK IM SORRRRYUWYY
Ten Women I Have Been Warned Against Becoming:
1. The Girl Who Takes Up Too Much Space, always, her shoulders too wide in stairwells, her hips too big in doorways, her voice too loud in classes. This woman does not understand the art of crumbling, of curling herself tight like the spiral of a fern, soft, delicate, unwilling to reach out the ivy of her fingers to grasp onto what should rightfully be hers. This is a beast, an elephant, a moving mountain and she is capable of flattening you, she is capable of ruining you, she is capable of making you feel as small and insignificant in her life as she is supposed to be. You are this woman’s footnote to history, you are her side note in song lyrics, you are constantly interrupted by her with a witty joke you wish you thought of. I asked what the problem was with being a steamroller instead of a sunflower and I was laughed down.
2. The Beautiful One, the long hair or the slim waist or the pretty eyes or the lips like bowstrings. This woman looks good in everything because she’s confident in whatever you put her in. She’ll cut her hair short on you no matter how you like it, she’ll wear high heels and step on your opinions, she’ll look hot as hell no matter what size she is. See, the reason you can’t trust her is because women like this don’t need your permission, they’ll do as they please and get away with it. They’ll say no to you, over and over. Teach your daughters that beautiful means dangerous, teach them to distrust women who love themselves. Equate beautiful with vapid, equate pretty with stupid, take their power from them. Say they’re vain for their makeup, refuse to see them without it. These women are snakes, they are serpents. I said maybe the problem lies with you being unable to control yourself and was told to get off my pedestal.
3. A Bitch. Women are supposed to be ladies in the street but will tear skin under sheets. I’m told: Never raise your voice. Speak gently. Submit. Hold your opinion against your lips and when you admit to it, make sure it comes out as a butterfly wing suggestion. Don’t disagree. Don’t undermine someone else’s authority, regardless of whether or not they deserve your respect. Someone touches you, just move away from them. Don’t hit. Don’t talk back. Be like the ruins of Rome, only beautiful if you can’t hear your quiet death.
4. The Needy One. I have heard how others spit when they talk about how she gave you everything and you shoved it back down her throat until she choked on it, until she came back crawling and asked you what she did, until her palms and knees were scraped for want of just a little affection - never be this woman, I’m told, because she’s a joke and the joke is that she dared to have more emotion than you did. The truth is, I’m told, the one who cares less in a partnership is the one who wins. I didn’t know this was a competition.
5. The Cock Tease, certified stripper, how dare that girl look like that and not want me to sleep with her. Lust is always personified as a lady in red with a dress slit up her thigh. Lust is sinful because it’s power, it’s not asking for attention - it’s demanding it. I’m told she is the worst kind of woman, that looking good is supposed to be some kind of shame on her kin. I’m told not to leave the house in such a short skirt, not with a shirt so low, not with a lace back, not with high heels, not dressed like that. My lipstick can’t be too red, my hair can’t be too mussed, I can’t just “turn someone on like that and then leave them wanting.” I mentioned that instant gratification actually ruins our psyche and was told that being led on was “exhausting.” I said that there was a difference between purposefully tricking someone into liking you and just being attractive or friendly. I was told there’s also a difference between coffee and tea but both result in caffeine. I said, “I’ve been turned on in class by the girls I talk to but I didn’t expect anything from them,” and they said, “It’s different, you’re not a man,” but couldn’t explain where that difference was.
6. A Slut, obviously ruined by another person’s touch. It doesn’t matter how many people she’s actually been with, it’s all about the rumors she carries with her. Easy. Harlot. You’ll still try to get with her, you’ll still take her into your bed and kiss her and say things you don’t mean - but you’ll defame her name when you talk to your buddies. My father used to say “A slut is fine for the night, but the virgin is who you take home and marry.” Maybe he didn’t know he was teaching his daughter to hate her sexuality. Maybe he didn’t know that every time she’d be kissed, her whole system would shake until she felt ready to combust, shame and self-hatred shivering against her spine. Maybe he didn’t know she’d disconnect emotions and sex because he always told her, “Boys are different, they won’t care about you.” Nobody said to her that it was okay to experiment. See, the funny thing is, I’m a dancer so I know exactly where my center of gravity is. I know how hard I’ll fall in each direction. Yet out of fear of getting hurt, I won’t let a single person inside of my bed.
7. The Soulmate. Never love romance more than you love being cynical. Never show weakness, never like pink, never think maybe you might find someone nice and settle down with them. Someone will find you, I was told, And if you’re lucky, he’ll put up with you when you start getting old. Never be the woman who believes in happily ever after, never be dumb enough to think maybe someone could love you after all of your mistakes. It has nothing to do with whether or not a family is important to you and you’re in a good place where a relationship would make your life better - you’re not a princess. You don’t get married, you settle.
8. The Girl With Strength, who can outrun everyone and who is stronger than her boyfriend. “See the thing about boys,” says my daddy, “Is that you have to let them win.” I sat at home and read stories about Artemis and wanted to become the huntress, too. I wanted to howl at the moon, I wanted to slay the beasts that bested me, I wanted to rule my kingdom with bloody fists. But girls are never athletes, never supposed to be “built,” regardless of the fact civilizations were constructed on our spines and we made homes in war by the steel of our ribs. Never be strong. We are supposed to wilt.
9. The Lady CEO: because if you choose work over family, are you really a girl? How dare you fight your way to the top through every pair of eyes that bore through your blouse, through every meeting where you were hushed by the sound of someone else talking, through every time someone called you “sweetie,” how dare you yearn for something. Is your husband the stay-at-home one? I can’t imagine how that is going. He’s not a real man, after all. I don’t give it long before the divorce. How dare you decide you’re happy being single. Don’t you know you’re supposed to bear children. Where is your honor? Where is your wisdom? Who cares if you are the leader, the best suited for your position, the quickest-thinking, the one who makes the hardest clients come back again. Don’t you see? Across history, women have been terrible at success. They always lose their man in the end. (When I said, “I would rather be a famous author than a mediocre mother,” I was told, “No, don’t worry, you’ll be a fine mommy.”)
10. THE GIRL I AM: FIRECRACKER AND DON’T YOU FUCKING FORGET IT I’LL RIP YOU TO SHREDS AND I WON’T FUCKING REGRET IT I’M NOT YOUR PRETTY GIRL I’M NOT YOUR ANYTHING I’M PERFECT, MOTHERFUCKER, AND I’M NOT GOING TO GIVE UP WHAT I’M DOING. I DON’T WANT TO BE “LADYLIKE” THAT LITERALLY MEANS NOTHING I’M NOT GOING TO STOP STANDING UP AND DEMANDING WHAT’S COMING TO ME. I’M GONNA BE SOMEBODY. I’M GONNA MAKE THEM REMEMBER ME. I REFUSE TO BE OVERSHADOWED IN HISTORY. I DON’T KNOW WHAT YOU WERE TRYING TO CREATE BUT YOU MADE ME A DRAGON YOU PUT ME IN THE FIRE AND WHEN I STOPPED BURNING I LEARNED HOW TO GLOW DON’T THINK YOU CAN STOP ME YOU CAN’T TAME A TORNADO.
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